Educating Angelica

Contributed and compiled by Kathleen Kremer.

(episode starts with a princess on a throne; trumpets herald an arriving prince who dances for the princess; cut to Angelica doing parallel action with her toy bunny, pretending it is the prince she is sitting on her bedroom floor playing with her toys)

Angelica: (looking at her doll in one hand) This does not please me said the beautiful princess. You are a silly silly prince (hits bunny over head with the doll)

(Charlotte, Angelica's mother, enters)

Charlotte: Come on sweetie! Today's your special day!

Angelica: Huh?

(cut to both approaching Woodbury school; then cut to them inside its hall)

Charlotte: The Woodbury school is very exclusive and, well (whispers to Angelica) let's just say not everybody gets to go here. Ah, here's room 4.

Angelica: But Mommy. Why do I have to go to school?

Charlotte: Oh, Angelica. There is no end to the value of a good education. It'll bring you wisdom, confidence, understanding, and all the best toys. (open door to classroom with kids running around)

Angelica: Huh, wow, they do "got" the best toys! But what are all these other kids doing here?

Charlotte: Well, those are your new classmates. The best and the brightest. The creme de la creme. The future movers and shakers of America!

Angelica: Oh brother. (teacher approaches them)

Miss Appleby: Well, this must be Angelica!

Angelica: Huh?

Charlotte: Oh, good. Miss Appleby (shakes hands with teacher).

Miss Appleby: Ms. Pickles. Welcome to our nurturing, caring, learning center. Welcome to the Woodbury school, Angelica. We are very happy to have you here (pats her on the head) .

Charlotte: (hands teacher a lunch bag) This is Angelica's lunch. The Brie should be soft by noon. And try to remember, she likes her juice served at exactly 45 degrees. Must dash, honey! Make Mommy proud! (Mom leaves, teacher takes Angelica to coat room)

Angelica: Hmm.

Miss Appleby: Now, let's just put your bag in the cloak room. There we go (puts bag in cubbie hole). Well, Angelica. All your classmates are waiting to meet you. Just go on over and introduce yourself.

Angelica: Uh, I don't know. It, it doesn't look like we like the same kind of games.

Miss Appleby: Well, perhaps you could show them the kinds of games you like to play. Now have fun. If you need me, I'll be at my desk.

Angelica: (pulls favorite doll out of her backpack) Well, I guess I could introduce them to Cynthia. (sees kid stomp on a Reptar doll and break off the head) Nah, they're just a bunch of dumb kids. They wouldn't appreciate her (puts doll back in backpack). Well, if they can't appreciate my toy, maybe I'll just play with their toys instead. (grabs a kid's play station, dumping out the figures)

Angelica: My turn!

Boy #1: Hey, that's not how we share.

Angelica: That's how I share. (walks away) (cut to kids looking for play dough and pan to Angelica making a huge bust of Cynthia with all of their play dough) (cut to several scenes of Angelica pulling away other kids toys, laughing, and then a pile of toys she has accumulated; cut to teacher at desk, finally realizing what has happened)

Miss Appleby: Huh! Angelica! Children! (cut to Angelica in car with Dad after school is over; then cut to her Mom at home on phone)

Charlotte: ..the zoo to name their price, Jonathan! That gorilla will make the perfect mascot for our soccer match with Chumbatomba Industries. (Angelica enters and throws coat and backpack on the floor; Dad stoops to look at note pinned to coat)

Didi: Hi Angelica, how was school?

Angelica: Oh, it was, uh, great Aunt Didi. I think I got a really good education today Mommy.

Charlotte: (still on phone) Hold on Jonathan, wonderful news! Angelica had a good first day. Oh that's fabulous sweetie! (Angelica sees Tommy playing with her toy hairdryer in the hall)

Angelica: (takes it from Tommy) Hey, that's my stupid --- (?) Cynthia hair drying center. Hands off, you dumb baby!

Tommy: But I was playing with that. (cut to parents in living room)

Charlotte: Hold on Jonathan. (puts phone down) Something wrong, Drew? Angelica just told me about her wonderful day.

Drew: Well, she couldn't have been talking

Charlotte: It seems that Angelica has some issues in the sharing department." (to phone) Jonathan, I'll call you back. (puts down the phone) "Since tomorrow is our share day, it would be helpful if she brought in her favorite plaything to share with the class. Yours truly, Miss Appleby." Sharing issues?! Our daughter, well, uh, how can this by? (cut to hall with Angelica and Tommy still fighting over the toys)

Charlotte: Angelica! Could you come here a second sweetie? (Angelica goes to mom)

Angelica: Got something for me Mommy? A surprise?

Charlotte: Angelica. I understanding you've had some, uh, sharing problems in school.

Angelica: I sure did Mommy! Nobody would let me have their stuff.

Charlotte: Angel, when you don't share, well, it, it won't look good on the application for Harvard. So, tomorrow you'll take Cynthia to school to share with your class.

Angelica: What?! I mean... what a great idea! But, actually Cynthia isn't my favorite anymore.

Charlotte: Really? Well, uh, what is?

Angelica: Well, it's not really a what. It's more of a, it's more of a who. (cut to next day; Angelica, her mom, and Tommy are in front of the classroom with the teacher during show and tell)

Miss Appleby: I don't think baby cousins qualify for share day, Angelica.

Angelica: But I play with him all of the time, and he's cute and he really wets (?) just like a real doll, only he goes ow when you poke him. (pokes him)

Tommy: Ow! (laughs)

Angelica: He's my most "favoritest" toy, and I would love to share him with you.

Boy #1: That's no toy! That's a baby.

Boy #2: Who wants to share a baby anyway?

Boy #1: Why don't you share that doll that you keep in your backpack?

Angelica: Uh...

Miss Appleby: A doll! Why yes, that would be very appropriate. (Charlotte's  phone rings, she answers it)

Charlotte: Hello? Jonathan, this is not a good time. Angelica's having a bad meeting. (still on the phone) What do you mean they won't let us have the gorilla! Of course, we'd take good care of it.

Miss Appleby: You're getting a gorilla! I lived with them in Africa for three years!

Charlotte: (to teacher) And I'm sure they miss you, but this is business.

Boy #1: Miss Appleby. Make Angelica share her toy! (kids cheer; Angelica sticks out her tongue and hides the toy behind her back)

Miss Appleby: Um, I, um

Charlotte: (on phone) Jonathan, you know I want to, I-

Miss Appleby: (waiving kids off) Free activity everyone! (approaches Charlotte) Please Charlotte, let me talk to him.

Charlotte: No! (cut back to Tommy and Angelica)

Tommy: It kind of doesn't sound like they really want to play with me Angelica.

Angelica: Of course they do Tommy. In fact, they want to play with you so much, they brought in a bunch of toys for you to play with.

Tommy: They did?!

Angelica: Sure! They're right over there in the baby room.

Tommy: Ooh, the baby room. (cut back to the teacher and Charlotte)

Miss Appleby: But I'm a big monkey expert!

Charlotte: Well, I'm a big important executive! (runs away, teacher runs after her)

Miss Appleby: Give me that.

Charlotte: No!

Boy #2: Hey, what's the baby doing with our stuff?

Boy #1: He's playing with your truck, Rickie. A baby's playing with your truck!

Boy #2: Hey baby! That's mine! (cut to Angelica in separate corner with her doll and most of the toys)

Angelica: It worked to Tommy, confronted by the class)

Tommy: And she told me you brought in all this stuff just to share this stuff with me. all this stuff just to share this stuff with me.

Boy #2: Oh yeah?!

Tommy: Yeah, and I'm having lots of fun with it, like this truck you got. I'm playing that it's a diaper truck.

Boy #2: A diaper truck, huh? Is it going to make it in time?

Tommy: Gee, why wouldn't it?

Boy #1: (putting toys in path) 'Cause teddy bears and dinosaurs and big bunnies are coming to block the road. (cut back to Angelica)

Angelica: Those kids are so dumb, they think they're having fun sharing their toys with a dumb baby while we got all this stuff to ourselves. Ha! (cut back to Tommy and the rest of the class)

Boy #1: Hey, Tommy. Look at this special Army helicopter.

Tommy: Wow!

Boy #1: It's coming to save the truck.

Tommy: It makes me proud to be a baby.

Boy #2: Yeah, I used to like it too.

Boy #1: Those were the days. (cut back to the teacher and Charlotte wrestling for the phone on the desk)

Miss Appleby: Give me that!

Charlotte: No! Get your own! (cut to Angelica with all the toys, by herself)

Angelica: Oh Cynthia, this is the most "wonderfulest" castle ever. Now we can both be princesses. (sees other kids laughing and having fun) We have it all, Cynthia. You and me, me and Cynthia. Sitting here, alone. (cut back to other kids)

Boy #1: Wow, Tommy. You sure know how to make up the "bestest" game. (cut back to Angelica)

Angelica: Wait a minute! He's just a dumb baby. I make up way better games than him. (grabs her doll and marches to the other kids) Hey, don't you kids know you can't play a good game without Cynthia?

Boy #2: Who's Cynthia.

Angelica: Who's Cynthia?? She's only the "bestest" doll in the whole "muniverse". Look! (boy #2 takes the doll)

Boy #2: Well, I like her hair. (boy #1 takes the doll)

Boy #1: What does she do?

Angelica: She does everything! She sings, she dances, and she also plays the stock market.

Girl #1: I didn't know Cynthia could do that stuff.

Angelica: Oh, you've got to use your imagination. Here, give me that truck, I'll show ya. (puts Cynthia on the toy truck) Here I come on the diaper truck. The bunnies don't scare me 'cause I'm Cynthia! (knocks toys out of the way)

Tommy: But what about the fire truck Angelica?

Angelica: That's not a fire truck. That's a lipstick truck. Here, you hold Cynthia, I'll take that. Now somebody find me something that can be the shoe delivery truck.

Boy #2: (holds up matchbox car) How about this?

Angelica: Too small. Cynthia has lots of shoes.

Girl #1: My teddy bear can carry 'em. Wow, Angelica. You're game is really fun. Can I hold Cynthia now?

Angelica: Sure, but if you mess up her hair, Mr. Bear gets it! (cut to outside of the school; hear adults still fighting)

Compilation (c) 1998 Kathleen Kremer.
Quotes (c) 1997 Viacom.

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