Looking For Jack

Contributed and compiled by Kathleen Kremer.

(Tommy, Angelica, and Chuckie are in Mrs. Pickle's car at Tommy's house, waiting to be taken to see a Dummi Bears concert. Tommy's dog is trying to get into the car. In the background, the Dummi Bears theme song plays, repeating over and over the lyrics "Sing a happy happy happy happy happy happy song.")

Tommy: Poor Spike! He wants to go to the Dummi Bears concert too.

Chuckie: (laughing) This is going to be the "bestest" show ever Tommy. Do you think Jelly Bear will be there? I hope so. Maybe we can get a poster or, or a picture. Maybe I'll even get to meet Jelly Bear. Oh my gosh. What would I say to him? I hope he sings this song. (starts singing) "Happy happy happy happy happy -"

(Angelica stops him by shoving a blanket in his mouth)

Angelica: Hey, you're wrecking the song!

Charlotte: (on the phone to her assistant) Jonathan, I'm going to a Dummi Bears concert. Don't complain to me about your day.

Didi: Thanks for taking the kids, Charlotte. I would have, but the cheese festival only comes once a year, and this year's theme is Camombaire, and you know how Stu always-

Charlotte: It's no problem Didi.

Didi: Are you sure you're going to be all right? You seem so busy.

Charlotte: I've got everything under control.

(the dog jumps into the car without anyone noticing, and Charlotte closes the back hatch and gets into the car)

(song continues)

Charlotte: Uh, that eternal noise. (turns off the music) Say goodbye to Mommy!

Jonathan: (on the phone) Goodbye Mommy.

Charlotte: No, not you Jonathan. Now patch me through to Wetherbee's office.

(while driving in town, the truck in front of her keeps swerving)

Charlotte: (to the truck) Will you please choose a lane! (into the phone) I know Lloyd, but right now I've got a car full of Dummi Bears and I'm on my way to a babies concert. Scratch that. I've got a car full of - Oh never mind.

(Spike appears and licks Tommy's face in the back seat)

Tommy: (laughing) Hey, Spike does get to go to the Dummi Bears.

Angelica: He's not supposed to be here. He must have "snucked" in when we picked you babies up.

Tommy: Oh, which one is your favorite Dummi Bear Spike?

(Spike barks)

Charlotte: (thinks Angelica made the noise since she doesn't realize the dog is in the car, hands a tissue to Angelica) Cover your mouth sweetheart. (back on the phone) Trust me Lloyd. I'll be there in three hours maximum.

(a can of olive oil falls off the truck; the car runs over it and gets a flat tire; Charlotte pulls it to the side of the street)

Tommy: What was that?

(all gasp)

Charlotte: (still on the phone) Or maybe four hours.

Chuckie: Uh, eh, it was scary. It sounded like the car burped.

Angelica: It didn't burp. It "broked."

Charlotte: Don't worry kids. Everything is fine. I'll be right back. (gets out of car and notices the flat tire and gasps; calls Lloyd again on her cellular phone) Lloyd, I'll call you in twenty.

(makes another call)

Chuckie: Oh, do you think we're going to miss the Dummi Bears concert?

Angelica: Of course now. My mommy will call somebody to fix it and we'll be out of here real soon.

Charlotte: (still on the phone) What do you mean, two hours! Arghghg! Well, I've leveraged a hostile take over while reorganizing subordinated debt. I suppose I can change a tire.

(she opens the car latch and searches for a jack)

Charlotte: Huh, no jack. (gets into the front seat) You kids be patient. There's just a little problem with the car.

Angelica: But Mommy. We're going to miss the very very beginning of the show, and that's my very "favoretist" part.

Charlotte: I know sweetheart, but Mommy can't do anything without a jack. Here, thumb through these stock offerings. It shouldn't be too long.

(hands Angelica some papers; then back on the phone)

Phone Voice: Hello.

Charlotte: Yeah, Lloyd. It's me again.

Chuckie: Who's Jack?

Angelica: He's the person that fixes car. Do I have to teach you everything.

Chuckie: There must be a bazillion people out there. I wonder which one is Jack?

Tommy: (getting out of his seat) Well, we're just going to have to find him, or we'll never get to the show.

Chuckie: But, uh, maybe we should wait you guys. Angelica' s mommy said it wouldn't be too long.

Angelica: That's what grownups always say when it's gonna to take forever. Don't you want to see the Dummi Bears live on stage and the final "daformance" of their laser "spangtacular."

Chuckie: I guess you're right.

Tommy: Atta boy Chuckie!

Angelica: Of course I'm right. Now give me that blankie.

Chuckie: (sighs) Oh.

(Chuckie gives her his blanket; she ties it to her seat and lowers it out the car window; the kids climb down it)

Charlotte: (still on the phone) I'm taking numbers, syntax, and context. Oh, and another thing Lloyd -

Tommy: (to dog) You stay there Spike. We'll be right back. Well, I guess we'll have to search the whole world. So let's start here. (kids go into Montello's restaurant; musician singing and playing the accordion) We'll go over here Angelica.

(Tommy and Chuckie leave Angelica, and she bumps into the host)

Host: Can I help you?

Angelica: I'm looking for Jack.

Host: Who's asking?

Angelica: Hey, didn't you see my mouth move.

Host: Jack is not available at this particular moment.

(Tommy and Chuckie peek behind a chair)

Tommy: Wow, Jack is here!

Host: Hey, should you not be with your mommy, little girl?

Angelica: Listen, mister. I need Jack and I need him now.

(waiter appears)

Waiter: Hey Vinnie. Ain't that Jack's kid?

(they look at a photo on the wall, in which Jack's kid looks a lot like Angelica)

Host: Oh, oh, oh. My utmost apologies Miss Montello. I did not realize you was Jack's kid.

Angelica: (playing along) Right, that's exactly who I am. Now get me Jack. I mean Daddy.

Host: Just a second. Tony, keep an eye on her.

(he leaves)

Chuckie: How come Angelica didn't tell us her daddy was Jack?

Tommy: Oh, I think she is just pretending.

(host goes in back to Jack's office; knocks on the door)

Jack: (voice only) This had better be important 'cause I told you not to bother me.

Host: (opens the door) I think it is important boss.

Jack: You think it's important. 'Cause if it is something you cannot handle, maybe I gotta get someone who can.

Host: Oh, oh, no, no, no boss. We can handle it. I, I'm sorry I even knocked on your door. My sincerest apologies to you and yours.

(closes the door)

(Host goes back to Angelica)

Accordion Player: (Singing) Those pesky dogs always wake me up in the morning.

Host: The boss, I, I mean your daddy, he is not available right now.

Angelica: But I need him.

Host: I know, but you see, he is busy.

Angelica: I don't care if he is busy.

Waiter: Hey, how about we get you something to eat while you wait. I nice spumoni, perhaps?

Angelica: I don't want balogna. I want Jack.

Waiter: Not a balogna. A ice cream. Do you like ice cream.

Angelica: Oh, um, what kinds do you have?

Tommy: (peering with Chuckie from behind a chair) Oh, come on Chuckie.

(Tommy and Chuckie go to the back of the restaurant)

Tommy: He must be this way.

Chuckie: Oh, I wish I, I wish Jelly Bear was here.

(back to Charlotte still on the phone in her car)

Charlotte: You know Lloyd, that mink farm might be a good investment. Well, no, personally I'm not that fond of animals.

(the dog whines)

Charlotte: (thinking it is the kids) Oh not now kids. (gives the dog a scone without looking at it) Here, have another scone and be quiet.

Phone Voice: Hey, you can't say that to me.

Charlotte: Not you Lloyd.

(Tommy and Chuckie are still exploring the back rooms)

Chuckie: Well, no Jack here. Hey, I got an idea. Let's go back to the car and hide.

Tommy: We can't stop now Chuckie. We got to get the car fixed and get to the Dummi Bear concert. You see if Jack's in there and I'll check over here.

(Chuckie opens a door; raw meat is hanging in it; closes it and pants)

Tommy: Is Jack in there?

Chuckie: Nope, nothing in here.

(Tommy opens another door)

Chuckie: Oh, this is just a potty. (they get to Jack's office) Hey, do you think he's in there.

(Tommy climbs on Chuckie's back to reach the door knob)

Tommy: I don't-

Host: (grabs the kids) Hey, where did you two come from? Get away from that door kiddies. Let's go find your mommy and daddy.

Accordion Player: (singing back in the main restaurant) If you want to come back -

(Angelica is now sitting at a table, eating a huge bowl of spaghetti with some cheese)

Angelica: Hmph, I need more cheese. How am I supposed to eat this without more cheese?

Host: Just one moment Miss Montello. I just need to get these babi-

Angelica: No, now. Or Daddy's going to hear about this.

Host: Right, right. Of course, Miss Montello.

(leaves Chuckie and Tommy near Angelica, who is still eating)

Tommy: We couldn't find Jack, Angelica.

Chuckie: Now we'll never see the show.

Angelica: You babies are always griping about something. Hey you. Get over here

(to the accordion player)

Accordion Player: Yes, Miss Montello. Uh, what could I play for you?

Angelica: Do you know the Dummi Bears song?

Accordion Player: Hah, but of course. (starts singing) Sing a happy happy happy happy happy happy song.

(continues singing)

Chuckie: Wow.

Angelica: See, just as good.

Tommy: But Angelica, I wanted to see the real Dummi Bears and that means we got to find Jack.

Angelica: Jack schmack. I've got everything I need right here. Hey waiter, more cherry soda.

Tommy: But Angelica-

(Jack appears and grabs one of Angelica's breadsticks)

Jack: Well, here's a little trio that's getting some special treatment.

(he eats some of the stick)

Angelica: Hey, buster. That's mine. Get your greasy paws off it.

Jack: Well, we certainly have a mouth on us.

Angelica: Yeah, well who let you into this smelly place.

Jack: I own this smelly place. I'm Jack.

Angelica: Umm, Mr. Daddy sir. It's me, your little butter cup?

Jack: What's going on here.

Host: Uh, it's your daughter, Gianna.

Jack: That's not my Gianna.

Angelica: Come on, I was only joking.

Host: What should we go with her boss.

Jack: Leave her, if she talked you goons out of all this stuff, she's got to have spunk.

Angelica: I got spunk? Is that good?

Host: What's your name little girl?

Angelica: Angelica Pickles.

Host: Angie? What could be bad about a girl named Angie? So, where is your mommy Angie?

Angelica: She's right out front. We just came in here to ask you to fix our car so we can get to the Dummi Bears concert.

Host: Dummi Bears? I love the Dummi Bears! Come on, let's take car of that car.

(back to Charlotte, still on the phone in her car)

Charlotte: Well, Lloyd. If you feel that way, the maybe it's best we didn't meet after all.

(Jack, the kids, host, and waiter go to Charlotte's car)

Charlotte: Uh, Lloyd. I'll, I'll call you right back.

Angelica: Mommy, we found Jack for you.

Charlotte: Angelica. Kids, well, I thought you were... (the dog barks) Spike?

(dog barks)

Jack: Mrs. Pickles, Jack Montello.

(shakes her hand)

Charlotte: Mr. Montello. I'm not sure what happened here but thank you for bringing back my little girl and her friends.

Jack: It's no problem. From the moment I saw your daughter in my restaurant I said this girl, she's got a lot of moxy.

Charlotte: Well, she does have a lot of my strong points.

Jack: (opening up the door to his limo) Now, if you'll allow me to drive, the Dummi Bears show starts in eight minutes.

Charlotte: Yes, of course.

(at the show; everyone watching it)

(Dummi Bear continues singing the Dummi Bears song)

Jack: I love that Jelly Bear.

(wipes tear away from his eye)

Compilation (c) 1998 Kathleen Kremer.

Quotes (c) 1997 Viacom.

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